第 45 部分阅读
chapter27
saturday；july26–monday；july28
blokvistpickedupsalanderbyherfrontdooronlundagatanat10：00anddrovehertothenorracreatoriu。hestayedathersideduringthecereony。foralongtietheyweretheonlyournersalongwiththepastor；butwhenthefuneralbeganaranskyslippedin。henoddedcurtlytoblokvistandstoodbehindsalander；gentlyputtingahandonhershoulder。shenoddedwithoutlookingathi；asifsheknehowasstandingthere。thensheignoredtheboth。
salanderhadtoldhinothingaboutherother；butthepastorhadapparentlyspokentosoeoneatthenursinghoewhereshedied；andblokvistunderstoodthatthecauseofdeathwasacerebralhaeorrhage。salanderdidnotsayawordduringthecereony。thepastorlosthertrainofthoughttwicewhensheturneddirectlytoher。salanderlookedherstraightintheeyewithoutexpression。whenitwasoversheturnedonherheelandleftwithoutsayingthankyouorgoodbye。blokvistandaranskytookadeepbreathandlookedateachother。
“she’sfeelingreallybad；”aranskysaid。
“iknowthat；”blokvistsaid。“itwasgoodofyoutoe。”
“i’notsosureaboutthat。”
aranskyfixedblokvistwithhisgaze。
“ifyoutwoaredrivingbacknorth；keepaneyeonher。”
heproisedtodothat。theysaidgoodbye；andtothepastor；atthechurchdoor。salanderwasalreadyinthecar；waiting。
shehadtogobackwithhitohedestadtogetherotorcycleandtheequipentshehadborrowedfromiltonsecurity。notuntiltheyhadpasseduppsaladidshebreakhersilenceandaskhowthetriptoaustraliahadgone。blokvisthadlandedatarlandalatethenightbeforeandhadsleptonlyafewhours。duringthedrivehetoldherharrietvanger’sstory。salandersatinsilenceforhalfanhourbeforesheopenedherouth。
“bitch；”shesaid。
“who？”
“harrietfuckingvanger。ifshehaddonesoethingin1966；martinvangercouldn’thavekeptkillingandrapingforthirty…sevenyears。”
“harrietknewaboutherfatherurderingwoen；butshehadnoideathatmartinhadanythingtodowithit。shefledfroabrotherwhorapedherandthenthreatenedtorevealthatshehaddrownedherfatherifshedidn’tdowhathesaid。”
“bullshit。”
afterthattheysatinsilenceallthewaytohedestad。blokvistwaslateforhisappointentanddroppedherattheturnofftohedebyisland；heaskedifshewouldpleasebetherewhenhecaeback。
“areyouthinkingofstayingovernight？”shesaid。
“ithinkso。”
“doyouwantetobehere？”
heclibedoutofthecarandwentaroundandputhisarsaroundher。shepushedhiaway；alostviolently。blokvisttookastepback。
“lisbeth；you’reyfriend。”
“doyouwantetostayheresoyou’llhavesoebodytofucktonight？”
blokvistgaveheralonglook。thenheturnedandgotintothecarandstartedtheengine。hewounddownthewindow。herhostilitywaspalpable。
“iwanttobeyourfriend；”hesaid。“ifyouwantotherwise；thenyoudon’tneedtobeherewhenigethoe。”
henrikvangerwassittingup；dressed；whendirchfrodelethiintothehospitalroo。
“they’rethinkingoflettingeoutformartin’sfuneraltoorrow。”
“howuchhasdirchtoldyou？”
henriklookeddownatthefloor。
“hetoldeaboutwhatmartinandgottfriedgotupto。thisisfar；farworsethanicouldhaveiagined。”
“iknohathappenedtoharriet。”
“telle：howdidshedie？”
“shedidn’tdie。she’sstillalive。andifyoulike；shereallywantstoseeyou。”
bothenstaredathiasiftheirworldhadjustbeenturnedupsidedown。
“ittookawhiletoconvincehertoe；butshe’salive；she’sdoingfine；andshe’shereinhedestad。shearrivedthisorningandcanbehereinanhour。ifyouwanttoseeher；thatis。”
blokvisthadtotellthestoryfrobeginningtoend。acoupleoftieshenrikinterruptedwithaquestionoraskedhitorepeatsoething。frodesaidnotaword。
whenthestorywasdone；henriksatinsilence。blokvisthadbeenafraidthatitwouldbetoouchfortheoldan；buthenrikshowednosignofeotion；exceptthathisvoiceighthavebeenabitthickerwhenhebrokehissilence
“poor；poorharriet。ifonlyshehadetoe。”
blokvistglancedattheclock。itwasfiveinutestofour。
“doyouwanttoseeher？she’sstillafraidthatyouwon’twanttoafteryoufoundoutwhatshedid。”
“whatabouttheflowers？”henriksaid。
“iaskedherthatontheplaneinghoe。therewasonepersoninthefaily；apartfroanita；whosheloved；andthatwasyou。she；ofcourse；wastheonewhosenttheflowers。shesaidthatshehopedyouwouldunderstandthatshewasaliveandthatshewasdoingfine；withouthavingtoakeanappearance。butsinceheronlychannelofrationwasanita；whoovedabroadassoonasshefinishedherstudiesandnevervisitedhedestad；harriet’sawarenessaboutwhatwentonherewasliited。sheneverknewhowterriblyyousufferedorthatyouthoughtitwasherurderertauntingyou。”
“iassueitwasanitawhopostedtheflowers。”
“sheworkedforanairlineandflewallovertheworld。shepostedthefrowherevershehappenedtobe。”
“buthowdidyouknowanitawastheonewhohelpedher？”
“shewastheoneinharriet’swindow。”
“butshecouldhavebeenixedupin…shecouldhavebeentheurdererinstead。howdidyoufindoutthatharrietwasalive？”
blokvistgavehenrikalonglook。thenhesiledforthefirsttiesincehehadreturnedtohedestad。
“anitawasinvolvedinharriet’sdisappearance；butshecouldn’thavekilledher。”
“howcouldyoubesureofthat？”
“becausethisisn’tsoedanedlocked…rooysterynovel。ifanitahadurderedharriet；youwouldhavefoundthebodyyearsago。sotheonlylogicalthingwasthatshehelpedharrietescapeandhide。doyouwanttoseeher？”
“ofcourseiwanttoseeher。”
blokvistfoundharrietbytheliftinthelobby。atfirsthedidnotrecogniseher。sincetheyhadpartedatarlandaairportthenightbeforeshehaddyedherhairbrownagain。shewasdressedinblacktrousers；awhiteblouse；andanelegantgreyjacket。shelookedradiant；andblokvistbentdowntogiveheranencouraginghug。
henrikgotupfrohischairwhenmikaelopenedthedoor。shetookadeepbreath。
“hi；henrik；”shesaid。
theoldanscrutinisedherfr. comtotoe。thenharrietwentoverandkissedhi。blokvistnoddedtofrodeandclosedthedoor。
salanderwasnotinthecottagewhenblokvistreturnedtohedebyisland。thevideoequipentandherotorcycleweregone；aswellasthebagwithherextraclothesandherspongebag。thecottagefeltepty。itsuddenlyseeedalienandunreal。helookedatthestacksofpaperintheoffice；whichhewouldhav. comackupinboxesandcarrybacktohenrik’shouse。buthecouldnotfacestartingtheprocess。hedrovetokonsuandboughtbread；ilk；cheese；andsoethingforsupper。whenhereturnedheputonwaterforcoffee；satinthegarden；andreadtheeveningpaperswithoutthinkingofanythingelse。
at5：30ataxidroveacrossthebridge。afterthreeinutesitwentbackthewayitcae。blokvistcaughtaglipseofisabellavangerinthebackseat。
around7：00hehaddozedoffinthegardenchairwhenfrodewokehiup。
“how’sitgoingwithhenrikandharriet？”hesaid。
“thisunhappycloudhasitssilverlining；”frodesaidwitharestrainedsile。“isabella；wouldyoubelieve；caerushingintohenrik’shospitalroo。she’dobviouslyseenthatyou’debackandwaspletelybesideherself。shescreaedathithattherehadtobeanendtothisoutrageousfussaboutherharriet；addingthatyouweretheonewhodrovehersontohisdeathwithyoursnooping。”
“well；she’sright；inaway。”
“sheandedhenriktodisissyouforthwithandrunyouoffthepropertyforgood。andwouldhe；onceandforall；. comsearchingforghosts。”
“wow！”
“shedidn’tevenglanceatthewoansittingbesidethebedtalkingtohenrik。sheusthavethoughtitwasoneofthestaff。iwillneverfettheoentwhenharrietstoodupandsaid；‘hello；maa。’”
“whathappened？”
“wehadtocalladoctortocheckisabella’svitalsigns。rightnowshe’srefusingtobelievethatit’sharriet。youareausedofdragginginanipostor。”
frodewasonhiswaytovisitceciliaandalexandertogivethethenewsthatharriethadrisenfrothedead。hehurriedaway；leavingblokvisttohissolitaryusings。
salander. compedandfilledhertankatapetrolstationnorthofuppsala。shehadbeenridingdoggedly；staringstraightahead。shepaidquicklyandgotbackonherbike。shestarteditupandrodetotheexit；whereshe. comped；undecided。
shewasstillinaterribleood。shewasfuriouswhenshelefthedeby；butherragehadslowlydissolvedduringtheride。shecouldnotakeupherindwhyshewassoangrywithblokvist；orevenifhewastheoneshewasangrywith。
shethoughtofmartinvangerandharrietfuckingvangeranddirchfuckingfrodeandthewholedanedvangerclansittinginhedestadreigningovertheirlittleepireandplottingagainsteachother。theyhadneededherhelp。norallytheywouldn’tevenhavesaidhellotoherinthestreet；letaloneentrustherwiththeirrepellentsecrets。
fuckingriff…raff。
shetookadeepbreathandthoughtaboutherother；whoshehadconsignedtoashesthatveryorning。shewouldneverbeabletoendthings。herother’sdeatheantthatthewoundwouldneverheal；sinceshewouldnevernowgetananswertothequestionsshehadwantedtoask。
shethoughtaboutaranskystandingbehindheratthecreatoriu。sheshouldhavesaidsoethingtohi。atleastgivenhisoesignthatsheknewhewasthere。butifshedidthat；hewouldhavetakenitasapretextfortryingtostructureherlife。ifshegavehiherlittlefingerhe’dtakeherwholear。andhewouldneverunderstand。
shethoughtaboutthelawyer；bjuran；whowasstillherguardianandwho；atleastforthetiebeing；hadbeenneutralisedandwasdoingashewastold。
shefeltaniplacablehatredandclenchedherteeth。
andshethoughtaboutmikaelblokvistandwonderedwhathewouldsaywhenhefoundoutthatshewasawardofthecourtandthatherentirelifewasafuckingrats’nest。
itcaetoherthatshereallywasnotangrywithhi。hewasjustthepersononwhoshehadventedherangerwhenwhatshehadwantedostofallwastourdersoebody；severalpeople。beingangrywithhiwaspointless。
shefeltstrangelyabivalenttowardshi。
hestuckhisnoseinotherpeople’sbusinessandpokedaroundinherlifeand…but…shehadalsoenjoyedworkingwithhi。eventhatwasanoddfeeling—toworkwithsoebody。shewasn’tusedtothat；butithadbeenunexpectedlypainless。hedidnotesswithher。hedidnottrytotellherhowtoliveherlife。
shewastheonewhohadseducedhi；notviceversa。
andbesides；ithadbeensatisfying。
sowhydidshefeelasifshewantedtokickhiintheface？
shesighedandunhappilyraisedhereyestoseeaninter…continentalroarpastonthee4。
blokvistwasstillinthegardenat8：00whenhewasrousedbytherattleoftheotorcyclecrossingthebridgeandsawsalanderridingtowardsthecottage。sheputherbikeonitsstandandtookoffherhelet。shecaeuptothegardentableandfeltthecoffeepot；whichwaseptyandcold。blokviststoodup；gazingatherinsurprise。shetookthecoffeepotandwentintothekitchen。whenshecaebackoutshehadtakenoffherleathersandsatdowninjeansandat…shirtwiththesloganicanbearegularbitch。justtryme。
“ithoughtyou’dbeinstockholbynow；”hesaid。
“iturnedroundinuppsala。”
“quitearide。”
“i’sore。”
“whydidyouturnaround？”
noanswer。hewaitedheroutwhiletheydrankcoffee。afterteninutesshesaid；reluctantly；“ilikeyourpany。”
thosewerewordsthathadneverbeforepassedherlips。
“itwas…interestingtoworkwithyouonthiscase。”
“ienjoyedworkingwithyoutoo；”hesaid。
“h。”
“thefactis；i’veneverworkedwithsuchabrilliantresearcher。ok；iknowyou’reahackerandhangoutinsuspectcirclesinwhichyoucansetupanillegalwiretapinlondonintwenty…fourhours；butyougetresults。”
shelookedathiforthefirsttiesinceshehadsatatthetable。heknewsoanyofhersecrets。
“that’sjusthowitis。iknowputers。i’veneverhadaproblewithreadingatextandabsorbingwhatitsaid。”
“yourphotographiceory；”hesaidsoftly。
“iaditit。ijusthavenoideahowitworks。it’snotonlyputersandtelephoneworks；buttheotorinybikeandtvsetsandvacuucleanersandcheicalprocessesandforulaeinastrophysics。i’anutcase；iaditit：afreak。”
blokvistfrowned。hesatquietlyforalongtie。
asperger’ssyndroe；hethought。orsoethinglikethat。atalentforseeingpatternsandunderstandingabstractreasoningwhereotherpeopleperceiveonlywhitenoise。
salanderwasstaringdownatthetable。
“mostpeoplewouldgiveaneyetoothtohavesuchagift。”
“idon’twanttotalkaboutit。”
“we’lldropit。areyougladyoucaeback？”
“idon’tknow。maybeitwasaistake。”
“lisbeth；canyoudefihewordfriendshipfore？”
“it’swhenyoulikesoebody。”
“sure；butwhatisitthatakesyoulikesoebody？”
sheshrugged。
“friendship—ydefinition—isbuiltontwothings；”hesaid。“respectandtrust。botheleentshavetobethere。andithastobeutual。youcanhaverespectforsoeone；butifyoudon’thavetrust；thefriendshipwillcruble。”
shewasstillsilent。
“iunderstandthatyoudon’twanttodiscussyourselfwithe；butsoedayyou’regoingtohavetodecidewhetheryoutrusteornot。iwantustobefriends；butican’tdoitallbyyself。”
“ilikehavingsexwithyou。”
“sexhasnothingtodowithfriendship。sure；friendscanhavesex；butifihadtochoosebetweensexandfriendshipwhenitestoyou；there’snodoubtwhichiwouldpick。”
“idon’tgetit。doyouwanttohavesexwitheornot？”
“youshouldn’thavesexwithpeopleyou’reworkingwith；”heuttered。“itjustleadstotrouble。”
“didiisssoethinghere；orisn’tittruethatyouanderikabergerfuckeverytieyougetthechance？andshe’sarried。”
“erikaandi…haveahistorythatstartedlongbeforewestartedworkingtogether。thefactthatshe’sarriedisnoneofyourbusiness。”
“oh；isee；allofasuddenyou’retheonewhodoesn’twanttotalkaboutyourself。andthereiwas；learningthatfriendshipisaatteroftrust。”
“whatieanisthatidon’tdiscussafriendbehindherback。i’dbebreakinghertrust。iwouldn’tdiscussyouwitherikabehindyourbackeither。”
salanderthoughtaboutthat。thishadbeeanawkwardconversation。shedidnotlikeawkwardconversations。
“idolikehavingsexwithyou；”shesaid。
“ilikeittoo…buti’stilloldenoughtobeyourfather。”
“idon’tgiveashitaboutyourage。”
“no；youcan’tignoreouragedifference。it’snosortofbasisforalastingrelationship。”
“whosaidanythingaboutlasting？”salandersaid。“wejustfinishedupacaseinwhichenwithfucked…upsexualityplayedaproinentrole。ifihadtodecide；enlikethatwouldbeexterinated；everylastoneofthe。”
“well；atleastyoudon’tproise。”
“no；”shesaid；givinghihercrookednon…sile。“butatleastyou’renotlikethe。”shegotup。“nowi’goingintotakeashower；andthenithinki’llgetintoyourbednaked。ifyouthinkyou’retooold；you’llhavetogoandsleeponthecapbed。”
whateverhang…upssalanderhad；odestycertainlywasnotoneofthe。heanagedtoloseeveryarguentwithher。afterawhilehewashedupthecoffeethingsandwentintothebedroo。
theygotupat10：00；tookashowertogether；andatebreakfastoutinthegarden。at11：00dirchfrodecalledandsaidthatthefuneralwouldtakeplaceat2：00intheafternoon；andheaskediftheywereplanningtoattend。
“ishouldn’tthinkso；”saidmikael。
frodeaskedifhecouldeoveraround6：00foratalk。mikaelsaidthatwouldbefine。
hespentafewhourssortingthepapersintothepackingcratesandcarryingtheovertohenrik’soffice。finallyhewasleftwithonlyhisownnotesandthetwobindersaboutthehans…erikwennerstr？affairthathehadn. comenedinsixonths。hesighedandstuffedtheintohisbag。
froderangtosayhewasrunninglateanddidnotreachthecottageuntil8：00。hewasstillinhisfuneralsuitandlookedharriedwhenhesatdownonthekitchenbenchandgratefullyaeptedthecupofcoffeethatsalanderofferedhi。shesatatthesidetablewithherputerwhileblokvistaskedhowharriet’sreappearancehadbeenreceivedbythefailyasawhole。
“youightsaythatithasovershadowedmartin’sdeise。nowtheediahavefoundoutabouthertoo。”
“andhowareyouexplainingthesituation？”
“harriettalkedwithareporterfrothecourier。herstoryisthatsheranawayfrohoebecauseshedidn?