Chapter 10

i drove jamie er t nig first i sure o be , i didnt knoly me. granted, s id ever received, and even t and read it like s ype of person o a stranger s reet, if exactly sure o make of it.

jamie old me once t s a dim, and i guess i finally came to t s. s . . .

but s ting on t a miracle, i guess salking specifically about me.

, i remembered, came into talking about it, but o say. old been ely, at least as far as i could tell. oill on till talked about tors, but lately er t in trange look would come over hing sad.

i didnt knoo make of it, being t i really didnt know well.

and jamie, o describe someone else entirely.

i could no more imagine he sky.

so anyed tood up ears in didnt even seem to realize i old

to tco continue ly been t spiritual kid in tion, but i still found of odd.

as i , i glanced at jamie sitting beside me. s t far a time. i smiled. maybe s me. my arted scooting across t closer to before i reac, jamie broke the silence.

“landon,“ sued to;do you ever t god?”

i pulled my hand back.

no god, i usually pictured ings id seen in c e robe, ing -but i knealking about t. salking about t took a moment for me to answer.

“sure,“ i said. “sometimes, i reckon.”

“do you ever u out they do?”

i nodded uncertainly.

“ive been t it a lot lately.”

even more ted to ask, but i didnt. i could tell so say, and i stayed quiet.

“i kno sometimes, i just dont understand ever o you?”

s about all time.

“ell,“ i said, trying to bluff, “i dont t to understand it all time. i t sometimes o h.”

it ty good ans. i guess t my feelings for jamie tle faster tell s my answer.

“yes,“ s;youre right.”

i smiled to myself and c, since talking about god t of t made a person feel romantic.

“you kno; i said casually, “it sure onigting by tree earlier.”

“yes, it ; sill elsewhere.

“and you sure looked nice, too.”

“thank you.”

t oo well.

“can i ask you a question?“ i finally said, in to me.

“sure,“ she said.

i took a deep breath.

“after comorroer youve spent some time ; i paused and looked at ;ould you mind coming over to my mas dinner?”

even till tued to outlines of a smile as soon as id said it.

“yes, landon, i very much.”

i sig believing id actually asked ill s mas lig city square. a couple of minutes later ook o complete t evening, s pull it away.

of s in till on and i could see beains. i supposed ing up because ed to at t, or ed to make sure i didnt kiss er on tep. i kne of thing.

i t-o do of tarted to and content at time, and i t id asked o come over t day. since s enougo figure out maybe s enougo figure out tuation as time id actually asked o join me of my oion.

just as to eps, i sa from beains and pull s, like angelas, for instance, t meant t anote or so before t gave you botime to sort of bat your eyes at eaco actually kiss. it usually took about t long.

no kno, i actually doubted t s ty, onig to miss tunity if it came up. i could feel ttle butterflies already starting to form in my stomac opened the door.

“i ; ly. sallo ired.

“; i said dejectedly.

“; jamie said er. “i wisonig was wonderful.”

“im so glad for you.“ o gat.

“ill give you a bit to say good nighe door open for you.”

ued around and back into t doo be reading, t see w was in his hands.

“i ime tonig; jamie said.

“so did i,“ i answered, feeling s eyes on me. i wondered if he car ride home.

“ time somorro; she asked.

s eyebro a little.

“ill come over to get you. is five oclock okay?”

s;daddy, ed s tomorrow?”

brougo arted rubbing them. he sighed.

“if its important to you, you can,“ he said.

not t stirring vote of confidence id ever it was good enough for me.

“ s; s radition to al question.

“you dont need to bring anyt; i ans;ill pick you up at a quarter to five.”

e stood t saying anytell tle impatient. tued a page of tanding there.

“ill see you tomorro; she said finally.

“okay,“ i said.

s for a moment, t me. “t; she said.

it, sued around and smile playing gently across as it to close.

t day i picked on sco see t er id given like shed promised.

bottle surprised a big deal-whenever my dad was around, my mom would have helen, our cook, make enough food for a small army.

i guess i didnt mention t earlier, about t only because my family could afford t also because my mom test at making sandimes ain ake least to get over it. it ing bued masatoes and crunceak. my fath us since before i was bo.

t, it a palace or anyt e living quarters or anyt. my fat ts orical value. t teresting to someone like me, it, ution. spaigside of ney miles up t

it still afforded my fats in t ted to leave. in a made me sad, because no matter w op old ric.

orical events like signing titution come along only once every feer , debating farm subsidies for tobacco farmers or talking about t;red influence“ o cut it.

even someone like me kne.

tional oric register -still is, i suppose-and till kind of ac, had scored before i did.

e stuffy or anyt. my parents and jamie carried on t marvelous conversation-tried to inject my o really go over too least as far as my parents as a good sign.

after dinner i invited jamie to er and noter putting on our coats, epped outside into ter air. i could see our breat in little puffs.

“your parents are ; so me. i guess s taken s sermons to .

“t; i responded, “in t.“ i said t only because it rue, but also because it kids said about jamie. i t.

sopped to look at ticks, and i didnt see hem.

“is it true about your grandfat; s;tories t people tell?”

i guess s get my .

“yes,“ i said, trying not to sment.

“ts sad,“ s;to life than money.”

“i know.”

s me. “do you?”

i didnt meet ask me why.

“i kno her did was wrong.”

“but you dont to give it back, do you?”

“ive never really t about it, to tell you truth.”

“ould you, though?”

i didnt ans ticks again, and i suddenly realized t sed me to say yes. its it.

“?“ i blurted out before i could stop myself, blood ruso my c;making me feel guilty, i mean. i t. i just o be bo into this family.”

s and touc;t doesnt mean you cant undo it,“ sly, “unity.”

o me, and deep do t decision, if it ever came, o my ant t back to somete to better.

“does your fat; i asked. i ed to knoo see her again.

it took a moment for o answer.

“my fat; s; me.”

“dont all parents?“ i asked.

s , to tuing back to me.

“i t s different from most. but my fat it makes me o see you. ts o your onight.”

“im glad ; i said, meaning it.

“so am i.”

e looked at eac of a moon, and i almost kissed t sued a too soon and said somet sort of threw me.

“my fat you, too, landon.“ t-it and sad at time-let me kno it simply because i i used to rees and call i er family.

“; i asked.

“for t i do,“ s elaborate any furt t s s tell me, somet made it until later t i leaed .

being in love a doubt trangest t only about before toget t in t like being time i ill kissed jamie. i even aken o cecils diner or even to a movie. i done any of t i normally did somehow id fallen in love.

till didnt kno me.

oions, and i missed t t me ely somet exactly sure of o take t step.

aken er cmas dinner, id asked if it ime to time, and s s exactly , too-“t ; i didnt take tendency to talk like an adult, and i ts h older people so well.

to ticed s car in t to ask her if i could come in.

“; s o see me.

again ook tive sign.

“; i said casually.

sioned to t;my fat on the porch if youd like. . . .”

dont even ask me ill cant explain it. one second i anding t of ing to o t second i . instead of moving toook a step closer to ook it in mine and looked rig a little closer. s exactly step back, but a little, and for a tiny, flickering moment i t id done ted going any furt of tilting my o t t silting oo, and t our faces ogether.

it t long, and it certainly t it s o t is t ouc forever.