第 4 部分阅读

however,itwasnotlisbethsalander’sastonishinglackofeotionalinvolveentthatostupsethi.milton’siagewasoneofconservativestability.salanderfittedintothispictureaboutaswellasabuffaloataboatshow.aransky’sstarresearcherwasapale,anorexicyoungwoanwhohadhairasshortasafuse,andapiercednoseandeyebrows.shehadawasptattooaboutaninchlongonherneck,atattooedlooparoundthebicepsofherleftarandanotheraroundherleftankle.onthoseoasionswhenshehadbeenwearingatan. com,aranskyalsosawthatshehadadragontattooonherleftshoulderblade.shewasanaturalredhead,butshedyedherhairravenblack.shelookedasthoughshehadjusteergedfroaweek-longywithagangofhardrockers.

shedidnotinfacthaveaneatingdisorder,aranskywassureofthat.onthecontrary,sheseeedtoconsueeverykindofjunkfood.shehadsiplybeenbornthin,withslenderbonesthatadeherlookgirlishandfine-libedwithsallhands,narrorists,andchildlikebreasts.shewastwenty-four,butshesoetieslookedfourteen.

shehadawideouth,asallnose,andhighcheekbonesthatgaveheranalostasianlook.heroveentswerequickandspidery,andwhenshewasworkingattheputerherfingersflewoverthekeys.herextreeslendernesswouldhaveadeacareerinodellingipossible,butwiththerightake-upherfacecouldhaveputheronanybillboardintheworld.soetiessheworeblacklipstick,andinspiteofthetattoosandthepiercednoseandeyebrowsshewas…well…attractive.itwasinexplicable.

thefactthatsalanderworkedfordraganaranskyatallwasastonishing.shewasnotthesortofwoanwithwhohewouldnorallyeintocontact.

shehadbeenhiredasajill-of-all-trades.holgerpalgren,asei-retiredlawyerwholookedafteroldj.f.milton’spersonalaffairs,hadtoldaranskythatthislisbethsalanderwasaquick-wittedgirlwith“arathertryingattitude.”palgrenhadappealedtohitogiveherachance,whicharanskyhad,againsthisbetterjudgeent,proisedtodo.palgrenwasthetypeofanwhowouldonlytake“no”asanencourageenttoredoublehisefforts,soitwaseasiertosay“yes”rightaway.aranskyknewthatpalgrendevotedhiselftotroubledkidsandothersocialisfits,buthedidhavegoodjudgeent.

hehadregrettedhisdecisiontohirethegirltheoentheether.shedidnotjustseedifficult—inhiseyesshewastheveryquintessenceofdifficult.shehaddroppedoutofschoolandhadnosortofhighereducation.

thefirstfewonthsshehadworkedfulltie,well,alostfulltie.sheturnedupattheofficenowandthen.sheadecoffee,wenttothepostoffice,andtookcareofthecopying,butconventionalofficehoursorworkroutineswereanatheatoher.ontheotherhand,shehadatalentforirritatingtheothereployees.shebecaeknownas“thegirlwithtwobraincells”—oneforbreathingandoneforstandingup.shenevertalkedaboutherself.colleagueswhotriedtotalktoherseldogotaresponseandsoongaveup.herattitudeencouragedneithertrustnorfriendship,andshequicklybecaeanoutsiderwanderingthecorridorsofmiltonlikeastraycat.shewasgenerallyconsideredahopelesscase.

afteraonthofnothingbuttrouble,aranskysentforher,fullyintendingtolethergo.shelistenedtohiscatalogueofheroffenceswithoutobjectionandwithoutevenraisinganeyebrow.shedidnothavethe“rightattitude,”heconcluded,andwasabouttotellherthatitwouldprobablybeagoodideaifshelookedforeployentwithanotherfirthatcouldakebetteruseofherskills.onlythendidsheinterrupthi.

“youknow,ifyoujustwantanofficeserfyoucangetonefrothetepagency.icanhandleanythingandanyoneyouwant,andifyoudon’thaveanybetteruseforethansortingpost,thenyou’reanidiot.”

aranskysatthere,stunnedandangry,andshewentonunperturbed.

“youhaveaanherewhospentthreeweekswritingapletelyuselessreportaboutthatyuppiethey’rethinkingofrecruitingforthatdot-pany.icopiedthepieceofcrapforhilastnight,andiseeit’slyingonyourdesknow.”

aransky’seyeswenttothereport,andforachangeheraisedhisvoice.

“you’renotsupposedtoreadconfidentialreports.”

“apparentlynot,butthesecurityroutinesinyourfirhaveanuberofshortings.aordingtoyourdirectivehe’ssupposedtocopysuchthingshiself,buthechuckedthereportatebeforeheleftforthebaryesterday.andbytheway,ifoundhispreviousreportinthecanteen.”

“youdidwhat？”

“caldown.iputitinhisin-box.”

“didhegiveyouthebinationtohisdocuentsafe？”aranskywasaghast.

“notexactly；hewroteitonapieceofpaperhekeptunderneathhisblotteralongwiththepasswordtohisputer.butthepointisthatyourjokeofaprivatedetectivehasdoneaworthlesspersonalinvestigation.heissedthefactthattheguyhasoldgablingdebtsandsnortscocainelikeavacuucleaner.orthathisgirlfriendhadtoseekhelpfrothewoen’scrisiscentreafterhebeattheshitoutofher.”

aranskysatforacoupleofinutesturningthepagesofthereport.itwaspetentlysetout,writteninclearlanguage,andfilledwithsourcereferencesaswellasstateentsfrothesubject’sfriendsandacquaintances.finallyheraisedhiseyesandsaidtwowords:“proveit.”

“howuchtiehaveigot？”

“threedays.ifyoucan’tproveyourallegationsbyfridayafternoonyou’refired.”

threedayslatershedeliveredareportwhich,withequallyexhaustivesourcereferences,transforedtheoutwardlypleasantyoungyuppieintoanunreliablebastard.aranskyreadherreportovertheweekend,severalties,andspentpartofmondaydoingahalf-hearteddouble-checkofsoeofherassertions.evenbeforehebeganheknewthatherrationwouldprovetobeaurate.

aranskywasbewilderedandalsoangrywithhiselfforhavingsoobviouslyisjudgedher.hehadtakenherforstupid,aybeevenretarded.hehadnotexpectedthatagirlwhohadcutsoanyclassesinschoolthatshedidnotgraduatecouldwriteareportsograaticallycorrect.italsocontaineddetailedobservationsandration,andhequitesiplycouldnotprehendhowshecouldhaveacquiredsuchfacts.

hecouldnotiagihatanyoneelseatmiltonsecuritywouldhaveliftedexcerptsfrotheconfidentialjournalofadoctoratawoen’scrisiscentre.whenheaskedherhowshehadanagedthat,shetoldhithatshehadnointentionofburninghersources.itbecaeclearthatsalanderwasnotgoingtodiscussherworkethods,eitherwithhiorwithanyoneelse.thisdisturbedhi—butnotenoughforhitoresisttheteptationtotesther.

hethoughtabouttheatterforseveraldays.herecalledholgerpalgren’ssayingwhenhehadsenthertohi,“everyonedeservesachance.”hethoughtabouthisownmusliupbringing,whichhadtaughthithatitwashisdutytogodtohelptheoutcasts.ofcoursehedidnotbelieveingodandhadnotbeeninaosquesincehewasateenager,butherecognisedlisbethsalanderasapersoninneedofresolutehelp.hehadnotdoneuchalongtheselinesoverthepastfewdecades.

insteadofgivingsalandertheboot,hesuonedherforaeetinginwhichhetriedtoworkoutwhatadethedifficultgirltick.hisipressionwasconfiredthatshesufferedfrosoeseriouseotionalproble,buthealsodiscoveredthatbehindhersullenfacadetherewasanunusualintelligence.hefoundherpricklyandirksoe,butuchtohissurprisehebegantolikeher.

overthefollowingonthsaranskytooksalanderunderhiswing.intruth,hetookheronasasallsocialproject.hegaveherstraightforwardresearchtasksandtriedtogiveherguidelinesonho. comroceed.shewouldlistenpatientlyandthensetofftocarryouttheassignentjustasshesawfit.heaskedmilton’stechnicaldirectortogiveherabasiourseinitscience.theysattogetherallafternoonuntilhereportedbackthatsheseeedtohaveabetterunderstandingofputersthanostofthestaff.

butdespitedevelopentdiscussions,offersofin-housetraining,andotherforsofenticeent,itwasevidentthatsalanderhadnointentionofadaptingtomilton’sofficeroutines.thisputaranskyinadifficultspot.

hewouldnothaveputupwithanyothereployeeingandgoingatwill,andundernoralcircustanceshewouldhavedeandedthatshechangeorgo.buthehadahunchthatifhegavesalanderanultiatuorthreatenedtofirehershewouldsiplyshrughershouldersandbegone.

aoreseriousproblewasthathecouldnotbesureofhisownfeelingsfortheyoungwoan.shewaslikeanaggingitch,repellentandatthesaetietepting.itwasnotasexualattraction,atleasthedidnotthinkso.thewoenhewasusuallyattractedtowereblondeandcurvaceous,withfulllipsthatarousedhisfantasies.andbesides,hehadbeenarriedfortwentyyearstoafinnishwoannaedritvawhostillorethansatisfiedtheserequireents.hehadneverbeenunfaithful,well…soethingayhavehappenedjustonce,andhiswifeighthaveisunderstoodifshehadknownaboutit.butthearriagewashappyandhehadtwodaughtersofsalander’sage.inanycase,hewasnotinterestedinflat-chestedgirlswhoightbeistakenforskinnyboysatadistance.thatwasnothisstyle.

evenso,hehadcaughthiselfhavinginappropriatedaydreasaboutlisbethsalander,andherecognisedthathewasnotpletelyunaffectedbyher.buttheattraction,aranskythought,wasthatsalanderwasaforeigncreaturetohi.heightjustaswellhavefalleninlovewithapaintingofanyphoragreekaphora.salanderrepresentedalifethatwasnotrealforhi,thatfascinatedhithoughhecouldnotshareit—andinanycasesheforbadehifrosharingit.

ononeoasionaranskywassittingatacaféonstortetingalastanwhensalandercaesaunteringupandsatatatableashortdistanceaway.shewaswiththreegirlsandaboy,alldressedinuchthesaeway.aranskyhadwatchedherwithinterest.sheseeedtobejustasreservedasshewasatwork,butshehadactuallyalostsiledatastorytoldbyoneofherpanions,agirlwithpurplehair.

aranskywonderedhowshewouldreactifonedayhecaetoworkwithgreenhair,worn-outjeans,andaleatherjacketcoveredwithgraffitiandrivets.sheprobablywouldjustsirkathi.

shehadbeensittingwithherbacktohianddidnotturnaroundonce,obviouslyunawarethathewasthere.hefeltstrangelydisturbedbyherpresence.whenatlasthegotuptoslinkawayunnoticed,shesuddenlyturnedandstaredstraightathi,asthoughshehadbeenawareallthetiethathewassittingthereandhadhionherradar.hergazehadesosurprisinglythatitfeltlikeanattack,andhepretendednottoseeherandhurriedlyleftthecafé.shehadnotsaidhelloeven,butshefollowedhiwithhereyes,hewassureofit,andnotuntilheturnedthecornerdidthey. comburningintohisneck.

sherarelylaughed.butovertiearanskythoughthenoticedasofteningofherattitude.shehadadrysenseofhuour. comutitildly,whichcouldproptacrooked,ironicsile.

aranskyfeltsoprovokedbyherlackofeotionalresponsethatsoetieshewantedtograbholdofherandshakeher.toforcehiswayintohershellandwinherfriendship,oratleastherrespect.

onlyonce,aftershehadbeenworkingforhifornineonths,hadhetriedtodiscussthesefeelingswithher.itwasatmiltonsecurity’schristaspartyoneeveningindeceber,andforoncehewasnotsober.nothinginappropriatehadhappened—hehadjusttriedtotellherthatheactuallylikedher.mostofallhewantedtoexplainthathefeltprotectivetowardsher,andifsheeverneededhelpwithanything,sheshouldnothesitatetoetohi.hehadeventriedtogiveherahug.allinfriendliness,ofcourse.

shehadwriggledoutofhisclusyebraceandlefttheparty.afterthatshehadnotappearedattheofficeoransweredherobile.herabsencehadfeltliketorture—alostaforofpersonalpunishent.hehadnobodytodiscusshisfeelingswith,andforthefirsttieherealisedwithappallingclaritywhatadestructiveholdshehadoverhi.

threeweekslater,whenaranskywasworkinglateoneeveninggoingovertheyear-endkeeping,salanderreappeared.shecaeintohisofficeassilentlyasaghost,andhebecaeawarethatshewasstandingintheshadowsinsidethedoorway,watchinghi.hehadnoideahowlongshehadbeenthere.

“wouldyoulikesoecoffee？”sheasked.shehandedhiacupfrotheespressoachineinthecanteen.mutelyheaeptedit,feelingbothreliefandterrorwhensheshovedthedoorclosedwithherfoot.shesatdownoppositehisdeskandlookedhistraightintheeye.thensheaskedthequestioninawaythatcouldneitherbelaughedoffnoravoided.

“dragan,areyouattractedtoe？”

aranskysatasifparalysed,whiledesperatelywonderinghowtoanswer.hisfirstipulsewa. comretendtobeinsulted.thenhesawherexpressionanditcaetohithatthiswasthefirsttieshehadeverutteredanysuchpersonalquestion.itwasseriouslyeant,andifhetriedtolaughitoffshewouldtakeitasanaffront.shewantedtotalktohi,andhewonderedhowlongithadtakenhertogetupthecouragetoaskthatquestion.heslowlyputdownhispenandleanedbackinhischair.finallyherelaxed.

“whatakesyouthinkthat？”hesaid.

“thewayyoulookate,andthewayyoudon’tlookate.andthetiesyouwereabouttoreachoutyourhandandtouchebut. compedyourself.”

hesiledather.“ireckonyou’dbiteoffyhandifilaidafingeronyou.”

shedidnotsile.shewaswaiting.

“lisbeth,i’yourboss,andevenifiwereattractedtoyou,i’dneveractonit.”

shewasstillwaiting.

“betweenus—yes,therehavebeentieswhenihavefeltattractedtoyou.ican’texplainit,butthat’sthewayitis.forsoereasonidon’treallyunderstand,ilikeyoualot.butit’snotaphysicalthing.”

“that’sgood.becauseit’llneverhappen.”

aranskylaughed.thefirsttieshehadsaidsoethingpersonalanditwastheostdishearteningnewsaancouldiaginereceiving.hestruggledtofindtherightwords.

“lisbeth,iunderstandthatyou’renotinterestedinanoldanoffiftyplus.”

“i’notinterestedinanoldanoffiftypluswho’syboss.”sheheldupahand.“wait,letespeak.you’resoetiesstupidandaddeninglybureaucratic,butyou’reactuallyanattractivean,and…icanalsofeel…butyou’reybossandi’veetyourwifeandiwanttokeepyjobwithyou,andtheostidioticthingicoulddoisgetinvolvedwithyou.”

aranskysaidnothing,hardlydaringtobreathe.

“i’awareofwhatyou’vedonefore,andi’notungrateful.iappreciatethatyouactuallyshowedyourselftobegreaterthanyourprejudicesandhavegiveneachancehere.butidon’twantyouforylover,andyou’renotyfather.”

afterawhilearanskysighedhelplessly.“whatexactlydoyouwantfroe？”

“iwanttocontinueworkingforyou.ifthat’sokwithyou.”

henoddedandthenansweredherashonestlyashecould.“ireallydowantyoutoworkfore.butialsowantyoutofeelsoesortoffriendshipandtrustine.”

shenodded.

“you’renotapersonwhoencouragesfriendship,”hesaid.sheseeedtowithdraw,buthewenton.“iunderstandthatyoudon’twantanyoneinterferinginyourlife,andi’lltrynottodothat.butisitallrightificontinuetolikeyou？”

salanderthoughtaboutitforalongtie.thensherepliedbygettingup,walkingaroundthedesk,andgivinghiahug.hewastotallyshocked.onlywhenshereleasedhididhetakeherhand.

“wecanbefriends？”

shenoddedonce.

thatwastheonlytiesheevershowedhianytenderness,andtheonlytiesheevertouchedhi.itwasaoentthataranskyfondlyreebered.

afterfouryearsshehadstillvouchsafedhardlyadetailaboutherprivatelifeorherbackgroundtoaransky.onceheappliedhisownknowledgeofthepinder’sartonher.healsohadalongtalkwithholgerpalgren—whodidnotseesurprisedtoseehi—andwhathefinallyfoundoutdidnotincreasehistrustinher.heneverentionedawordaboutthistoherorletherknowthathehadbeensnoopingintoherlife.insteadhehidhisuneasinessandincreasedhiswatchfulness.

beforethatstrangeeveningwasover,aranskyandsalanderhadetoanagreeent.infutureshewoulddoresearchprojectsforhionafreelancebasis.shewouldreceiveasallonthlyinewhethershedidanyassignentsornot.therealoneywouldbeadewhenshewaspaidperassignent.shecouldworkthewayshewantedto；inreturnshepledgednevertodoanythingthatightebarrasshiorrisksubjectingmiltonsecuritytoscandal.

foraranskythiswasasolutionthatwasadvantageoustohi,thepany,andsalanderherself.hecutthetroublesoepidepartentdowntoasinglefull-tieeployee,anoldercolleaguewhohandledroutinejobsperfectlywellandrancreditchecks.allplicatedortrickyassignentsheturnedovertosalanderandafewotherfreelancerswho—inthelastresort—wereindependentcontractorsforwhomiltonsecurityhadactuallynoresponsibility.sinceheregularlyengagedherservices,sheearnedagoodsalary.itcou